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Chaos 3/16/03 12/11/09

by Char
(Iowa)

Chaos passed away this morning. I miss him so much. I have called for him a few times today out of habit. It hurts so much.
He will not be rolling on his back and twist and turn so I can rub his stomach tonight. I will miss the feeling of his fur between my fingers. I will not feel his rib cage and tell him how funny and cute he is. There will be no explaining he is a cat and not a doggy that needs his tummy rubbed.
Tomorrow while I am cleaning on the other side of the house he will not cry out mom. It is a meow that sounds like mom for real.When your sleeping and wake to it you can not help but smile. Then there are the meows that he is complaining that someone went in his litter box or that he did and he wants maid service now.
I do not know if I did the right things for him. I do not know if there was no blizzard this week, if he would still be alive. With more vet care.
All I know is I miss him so much. I want to know when I will stop crying.

Comments for
Chaos 3/16/03 12/11/09

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Dec 13, 2009
 I'm soooo sorry
by: starfire

Chaos is beautiful and was so young.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss and this time of year, it's particularly hard. (Such a contrast between grief and all the merriment)
Yes, it will get easier and for each person/bond it's different. I've never been one to let go easily, but I get to a point where I can remember the good without crying over the loss and the difficult times and I greatly look forward to eternity with my Lord and my fuzzballs.
One thing I remind myself in the midst of the pain is that it can only hurt as much as the amount of love received. In other words if the pain is deep it's because the love was also very very deep. Your little Chaos is in a better place now where there is no more pain. In time you will be able to remember - and smile and again long for a unique cat/human bond and find it hopefully in another. They pave the way in our hearts so we are never "complete" without a feline friend by our side.

God Bless You and I am Praying for You
Dec 12, 2009
 Always remembering Chaos
by: Kirin Kat

My heart goes out to you with sympathy deep and warm. This will take time for you and give yourself time to mourn and time to weep. Time to remember as I still have my times of crying for my Smokey Joe whom I lost in April of this year. Your baby was very young also as was mine. The crying hasn't stopped for me, but time has made it bearable for me to function and to give a new home to another. And knowing that there is the option (when you are ready again) to bring forth a new kitten within your home. Sharing is the most helpful, healing way to deal with the loss of a feline family member. We will never forget, and know that your Chaos is up over Rainbow Bridge running and playing with my dear Smokey Joe in the realms of happiness, until we meet again.

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