(Colorado, USA)

They do get along... when Itty is sleeping

Hello. I have a boy cat, his name is Itty Bitty (he is actually very large in size, he is a Maine Coon). Ever since we first got him, he has had somewhat of an "anger problem." He was abused by the prior owners and had a broken jaw. I am not sure if this could be contributing to his problems.

When we got our second kitty (she is a female and both are fixed), he was fine. But, after a couple of months of having her he started to charge at her and pounce onto her then hold her by her neck (not biting, but in a domineering way). She absolutely hates it, obviously, and I want to make him stop doing this.

It has been two years now, and he just won't let up on her. He also gets confident with us as his owners when we tell him no and stop him from beating her up, he challenges us and stands tall then tries to "attack" us. Even though he never does any harm. It just hurts to see him pick on Twinky all the time, every day. He does it even if she is just laying there.

Is there anything I can do for it to make it stop? Any remedies, scented things, anything we are willing to try to calm him down? We aren't sure if he just has an anger problem, he didn't treat the veterinarian very nice at all. Any information would be super helpful! We all thank you!


There are many things you can try to help calm the stress level for both your male and female cats, the most effective of which will likely be Feliway, a natural product designed to mimic the pheromones cats produce naturally to reduce stress and dominance problems.

To learn more about addressing problems with dominance and fighting cats, please see my answer to this question from another reader. Although the problem you are experiencing is more directly related to dominance, this is still a form of cat aggression, and the tips outlined on this page should prove useful for you.

All the best,
Dr. Neely