by michele
(east london south africa)
Crimson Long my son
Crimson’s CANVAS
When I adopted you into my heart, my pet canvas was blank. But with every lick of your tongue and gentle tap of your paw, a portion of the canvas was cleared revealing part of a picture underneath.
Initially I thought it strange, instead of painting new memories u seemed to b unveiling a picture already there. But what was it of? I would understand later… as each wonderful year passed, our love for one another grew deeper.
You were so much MORE than my pet. Crimson you were my son, the apple of my eye and I did and will love you to bits and pieces eternally. Every time we would play, or cuddle, more of the picture would be revealed. As you grew older, I started to see a pair of hands on the canvas. I assumed it was mine cuddling you but I couldn’t make out the rest of it because it was all still fuzzy. Then you grew ill but the doctor nursed you back to health... time and again my baby, you
bounced back and my heart rejoiced.
But then bad news came in waves, a murmur on your heart; a cyst on your kidney... then I thought you had recovered when you fell ill again. My dear boy, over the next 3 months, despite the best efforts and all my love, you still backslid and I witnessed your weight loss, your demands for more water and the sorrow in your eyes. Then the salivating came and knew no end... I prayed for God to spare you, a miracle if you please... and that I would in turn be spared the choice of opting for euthanasia.
I asked God, “Why would you put me in this situation? What did I do that You deem it necessary to punish me so severely?” and I heard Your Word remind me, that You would never put me on a road I cannot handle. My love for you Crimson, knows no bounds, and dear Lord help me but I could not bear to see you suffer any longer...
My Darling baby boy, you were in so much pain, so distant, so disorientated at the end. You were so thin, I could easily feel all your precious bones, your once gorgeous fluffy fur matted and wet from salivation and not being in touch with your bowels. I know how embarrassed you always were if mommy came across you when you were using your kitty box and how furiously you would try to cover up whatever it was that now lay in that box... and how I would assure you, you had no need for shame. I can only imagine how your heart felt at your dishevelled state.
The ONLY gorgeous red haired Persian ever to LOVE going to the parlour! All parlour folk enjoyed you so much saying you were better behaved than the dogs! You happily enjoyed the getting wet, shampooing and blow drying! AND you always looked SUPERB as a result!
My baby boy, how I will miss our cuddles and kisses. How you would 'tenderly' massage your mommy's back with your claws or do the same as a 'tender' head massage and then, purring happily, drift off to sleep. I will miss your tender paw taps to rouse me from slumber...
I will miss burying my face in your soft fluffy body and holding you whilst you snuggled in tight. My heart ACHES, Crimson, my heart aches... I love you ETERNALLY, my pumpkin, beyond the dark door of death... you will GO ON in my heart and God willing we will meet again in paradise.
As I held you, my hands shaking, and you gently passed away my already broken heart ached all over again and I have sobbed rivers of tears and gut wrenching cries have echoed. I heard a voice, “look at the picture now.” I did & it was crystal clear. He then said, “A pet canvas can only be completed with tears of compassion”. The CANVAS wasn’t of my hands cuddling you; they were of God’s hands holding me...
