by Carolyn Hotker
(Panmure, Victoria, Australia)

9 Jun 2011 - Today I had to put my beloved precious boy Mate down. He was a beautiful tabby with a white heart-shaped patch on his chest.

Mate was diagnosed with tumours and heart failure a week ago. The vet wanted to put him down last week, but I wanted to take him home and have some more time.

He was pretty normal, but the last 24 hours were horrible. He was panting when he tried to lay down overnight to sleep and couldn't get comfortable and so he stood most of the night, it was awful to watch.

So I took him to the Vet this morning to die. He had a sedative which didn't really help and he looked awful and was struggling. Then they gave him anaesthetic gas in an enclosed cage till he was anaesthetized.

Then I had a cuddle and they gave him the injection to end his life. Then we bought him home and buried him. I feel so bad that the last hour of his life was horrible. I should have had him put to sleep the evening before, but its so hard.

Mate was a beautiful cat who loved to play, hunt, eat and smooch and he just smiled all the time. Even the morning of his death when he went outside to 'pee', he caught a moth on the veranda and ate it! It was hard to realize he was so sick when he kept doing his normal stuff, it was just he couldn't get his breath in his last hours.

Mate was a blessing to me and my boys and I treasured the 13 1/2 years I was blessed to have him.

When will the pain and tears stop?