My Beloved Sophie 2001 - 2013

by Chris




I feel so guilty and utterly heartbroken at having put my beautiful Sophie to sleep. One minute she was fit and healthy but suddenly had vomiting and diarrhea. I now feel that I should have given her more of a chance!

She was initially being treated by our Vet for a stomach bug then a food intolerance, but she started losing weight and became very listless. Eventually, I had to get my wife to take her to a different out of hours emergency Vet because I couldn't face going. There, the Vet said she was a very sick cat and discovered a large mass in her stomach. My wife left Sophie there and came home to give me the news.

The Vet said Sophie was far too weak to be able to do further investigation at that time and was very dehydrated, they wanted my advice on what to do. I didn't want her to suffer unduly, so decided to have her put to sleep. My wife was with her, I was too emotional and upset to attend.

This all happened over 6 weeks ago, but my feeling of loss and guilt is still as bad as ever. I've had pets all my life. I'm 67 years of age, so it's not a new thing! But Sophie was different somehow. She was a rescue cat and appeared very vulnerable when I saw her for the first time. She looked so pleased to see me, and this look stayed with her all her life. She was still purring when I stroked her on the day she died.

Whenever I came home she was waiting behind the door and 'talked' to me. She followed me everywhere, sat behind me at this computer, followed me into bed and was there first thing in the morning. I'm utterly lost without her and wonder if I will ever get over these really miserable feelings?

I now have Sophie's ashes at home with me, which also makes me sad seeing them on the shelf, but I'm glad that part of her is back home again.

At the time I thought it was the right decision, but I now feel that I was too hasty and should have explored more options. I can't get this terrible feeling of guilt from my mind. I miss her so very much.

Comments for My Beloved Sophie 2001 - 2013

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by: Anonymous

You had such a lovely pet Sophie. Her actions are so much loving and caring. the way she used to wait for you behind the door and she used to follow you everywhere. She was such an adorable pet. I'm really sorry for your loss. I think, what you did was right according to the situation. I know how much you loved your cat I totally understand that. But don't blame yourself for what happened.

Sophie was loved
by: Anonymous

I did everything for both my cats radiation, iv sub fliuds,every possible medical procedure. They still were in pain in the end. No matter what we gave pain meds everyday. They still hurt. I have terrible guilt that no matter what we did I couldnot save them. I just think that we will always have guilt no matter what we do. So don't worry you gave her the gift of pain free suffering. Be proud that you had the heart to do that. Please forgive yourself you deserve that.

For Sophie
by: Anonymous

I recently lost my cat peanut in July I know how you feel an I still have not gotten over the guilt of could I have done more for him I am sorry for your lose I hope you feel better Sophie was beautiful you did the right thing by not letting her suffer

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